Tabitha Suzuma's Website Journal

14th July 2008
Apologies for the very long silence. My health has been very poor recently.

The cover for Without Looking Back is currently receiving its finishing touches, so watch this space. Hopefully I'll be able to put it up in the next few days. Without Looking Back has also been longlisted for the Waterstone's Book Award - 9 months before its publication date! (April 2009) If it reaches the shortlist in October, the publication date will be brought forward to January! Without Looking Back is about a family on the run from the law (synopsis and extract up on the website in the next couple of weeks). Originally it was written as a book for teenagers but it's now being marketed as a book for 'older children'. However it is definitely a book for ALL ages from 10 up and it will appeal equally to teenagers and adults. It is my sister's favourite book out of the six I've written so far and she is 23! So please don't let the fact that it is being marketed as a children's book put you off in any way - it is written in the same uncompromising style as all my teenage books and deals with similarly gritty, hard-hitting issues. So far the adults who have read it (my editor, agent, jacket designer and sister) were all moved to tears! I have also been told that the fact it has been longlisted for a prestigious award so far in advance of its original publication date suggests that it is going to be very popular. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I have been receiving fantastic feedback from readers about A Voice in the Distance. Many of you are asking for a third book to complete the Flynn & Jennah trilogy. Unfortunately that depends uniquely on how well the sequel sells. I have the third all planned out but I will only get the green light from my publishers if A Voice in the Distance sells really well and it's common knowledge that sequels are notoriously hard to sell (even though A Voice in the Distance is as much a standalone book as a sequel). So if you are one of the many hoping for book 3, please encourage everyone you know to buy A Voice in the Distance! Thank you so much to everyone who has written in to tell me how much they enjoyed it and apologies for making so many people cry! Most people seem to think it's the best book out of the three I've had published so far, which is very heartening as it's my personal favourite too. It has also received some glowing reviews - the latest in this weekend's edition of The Irish Times (see the review page to read it).

I have done a number of promotional events recently: I greatly enjoyed talking to the students at Camden Girls' School and the talk I gave at Waterstone's in Enfield was great fun too. I hosted and judged the annual creative writing comprehension at Latymer Upper and as ever, was incredibly impressed by the quality of the entries. I also attended the Lancashire Book Award ceremony in Preston where From Where I Stand had reached the shortlist - judged entirely by teenagers. I greatly enjoyed the lavish two-day event which included several talks, fantastic meals and a spectacular award ceremony. I met some fantastic people and had a wonderful time.

From Where I Stand has been shortlisted for two other awards in the autumn: The Catalyst Award in Glasgow and the Stockport Schools' Award. I am greatly looking forward to these awards too but also really hoping that I finally get to win one of them!

My current 'secret topic - highly controversial book' for OLDER and sophisticated teens (it is practically a book for adults) is proving quite a challenge due to its difficult and sensitive subject matter - but the deadline is January so I'd better get cracking. The publication date - if it doesn't get banned or heavily censored - will be early 2010. It will be my fifth book for young adults.

My two books for adults: Maya and All This I Vow are about to be sent out to publishers following some edits and rewrites. Hopefully they will find a great editor soon.

I have been a published author for two years now - since May 2006. I am now on my seventh book and the journey has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. Writing to be published is not an easy route to choose in life - I've had to make a great many sacrifices in order to find the time to write, write and keep writing. Some days the task feels impossible. Not a day goes by when I don't consider giving up. Many of my dreams and expectations of being a published author have been shattered, but on the other hand I have been long and shortlisted for more awards than I knew existed, I've had pages and pages of glowing reviews in the press (which is rare for any writer) and most importantly of all, I receive a regular influx of reader mail that often makes me cry happy tears and reminds me why it is I choose to spend almost every hour that I'm not teaching in front of the computer screen, putting down word after word in an attempt to convey to the outside world the burning story that is living inside of me, begging to be told. There have been some really tough times and although I feel my writing improves with every book, the actual process of creating a story out of thin air never gets any easier. At times, when you are 'in the zone', it is the most exhilarating experience imaginable; at others, when the words dry up or your confidence drops, the lows are close to unbearable. Much like Flynn in A Note of Madness, my experience so far as a writer has been one of dizzying highs and crashing disappointments. But at the end of the day, so long as I feel I have gripping and important stories to tell, so long as I feel I am reaching out and touching the lives of others, I will keep on trying.

1st May 2008
I thought this day would never come. A Voice in the Distance is finally in the shops!!!

26th April 2008
Okay, there's really no excuse for it. A Voice in the Distance, sequel to A Note of Madness, is out in 5 days. If you haven't ordered your copy yet then shame on you! :-) If you are in any doubt about whether to get it or not, then read this review!

I have just been commissioned by Random House to write a new teen fiction book for 2010 (this would probably explain why I'm updating my journal rather than actually writing the thing). But it's very exciting to get my first commission (= where they pay you in advance to write a book as opposed to once the book is written). It's a big show of faith on behalf of my publishers. I came up with the idea which I'm not going tell you about here because it would give too much away. Suffice to say that my agent describes it as 'a very controversial topic'. At first I was afraid to tell my editor and agent about the idea because I thought they would say there was no way in hell they or anyone else would publish a book on that topic for teenagers, but I thought wrong. Anyway, the characters are all there, the story is fully-formed, I've just got to get down to the writing part now... Hm - I wonder what's on TV?

I'm so glad it's nearly summer. Yes, I know it's still raining most of the time but at least the days are longer and it's not permanently freeeeeezing. I want to go on holiday but I don't have any money. Oh well. At least that might mean I get some work done.

1st April 2008
Well, at least the days are getting longer and things are starting to look up: I've finally got to grips with my new YA novel, only ONE MONTH to go till A Voice in the Distance comes out (and I already have the advance copy in my hands - looking good!), The Carnegie shortlisted announced in a few weeks and some of my lovely pupils are finally old enough to start reading my books...

LOTS of reader mail has been coming my way, apologies I've been slow to reply, it's not always easy to keep up, but I appreciate these messages of support more than I can say.

I have sadly parted company with my lovely agent, Linda, who mainly represents children's books, and am now represented by Eve White who will be handling all my work from now on.

My editor is off on maternity leave very shortly, which is a bit scary, but it will probably be good for me to work with a new editor for a while and I gather her replacement is lovely.

I have a few more edits to make on my first book for adults, All This I Vow, before it goes out again in a bid to find a suitable publisher, so what with that and the new YA book - plenty to keep me occupied. Just as well as it's the Easter holidays then. Hope you're all having a relaxing break from school / college / uni - I am off to Brussels next week to stay with my best friend. We plan to work together (she is a writer too) but I'm guessing there's going to be far more talking than actual writing going on!

19th February 2008
A belated Happy New Year from me. I'm hoping the 'happy' bit is going to kick in sometime soon. So far it's been a somewhat frustrating year, what with trying to get my new YA novel off the ground. At the moment it's not happening, so meeting the April deadline looks to be unlikely, which unfortunately means I lose out on the chance of getting two books published in '09. However, From Where I Stand has been shortlisted for two more awards: The Catalyst Prize and The Lancashire Book of the Year Award, which is a great honour. And I'm still keeping everything crossed for The Carnegie shortlist in April. Proof copies of A Voice in the Distance are being sent out and the book received its first review in The Bookseller. Hopefully there will be more to come.

I now have a Facebook profile so do add me if you are a Facebook user and write me a message. I find that playing around with all the applications is a very useful distraction for when I'm supposed to be writing. Take part in my poll!

Many thanks to all of you who wrote to me recently, I've received a lot of very nice emails and, as ever, it's great to know that my books are being read and enjoyed.

You can read synopses and extracts from my two adult novels, Maya and All This I Vow, on my agent's website.

20th December 2007

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

Sorry I missed out November, but I've been ill for absolutely ages. Anyway, today is a Good Day so I thought it might be time to post the latest news. Firstly, I have just started a new YA book. I can't say to much about it without giving the plot away, but it's about a brother and sister who come from an unusual background and live very unusual lives. It still very much has the psychological slant but also has action and is quite dramatic (as usual). It's called They Tell Me It Rained. Like A Voice in the Distance, it is written in from both male and female points of view which is always fun to write (and read I hope!) If I get it finished before April, there's a tiny hope I might get it published alongside Without Looking Back in 2009 which would be absolutely brilliant - I've been trying to get Random House to publish me twice a year for ages. However the April deadline is a tough one - can I write a book in four months?? I must try and make the most of the Xmas hols before term begins and teaching madness starts up again! I have four pupils sitting Common Entrance exam in January - I don't know who's more nervous, me or them!

I have also recently signed with a new agent for my two adult novels: Maya and All This I Vow, so I now have two wonderful agents! Very exciting news: From Where I Stand has made the longlist for The Carnegie Medal - the shortlist will be announced in April. This means a lot to me because when I was a child I would go to the library or bookshop and specifically look for books which had 'Carnegie' printed on the cover - even though at the time I wasn't sure what it was exactly! I just knew that most of my favourite books seemed to have it. Anyway, I kind of think it's time I actually won one of these award thingies!

Some disappointing news: my brother decided that the Royal College of Music wasn't for him. He's taking a year out and is applying to do Computer Science instead. It was always my dream for him to become a concert pianist, but the most important thing is for him to be happy...actually, no dammit, the most important thing is for me to be happy! But seriously, I must remember it's his life, and he has to find what's right for him. Plus I would never want him to have to deal with the kind of stress Flynn put himself under in A Note of Madness! Poor Flynn, things get even tougher for him in A Voice in the Distance, but I thought it was important to keep things realistic and a career as a concert pianist when you have bipolar disorder is no easy ride! Speaking of which, the book's got a 'NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS' warning - ooh er! Well Flynn and Jennah are living together in this one, so they get up to a little bit more than just holding hands. Anyway, I can't wait for the book to come out - just over four months to go now!

Thank you to everyone who emailed me this year to say what they thought of my books; it's brilliant receiving these messages of support and I'm always fascinated to hear about my readers' lives and their own struggles and triumphs. I do answer every email I receive as long as it's civil (!) but so far they've all been delightful and I've even put some of the quotes up on the books page. Although I'm not always able to answer right away, I keep up with my 'readers' correspondence' as much as possible - after all, this writing business is a very solitary one and the emails are the only proof I have that anyone other than reviewers are actually reading my books! So keep writing, keep reading and keep recommending my books to your friends! If you are within two hours travelling distance from London and want me to visit your school then please talk to your librarian or Head of English and give them my contact details. I do visit schools further afield, but the school would need to pay for overnight accommodation or I'd soon be skint - but it's worth a try, some schools are very keen!

8th October 2007
Yay, it's done! The cover for A Voice in the Distance has arrived. Many thanks to Tracey Paris for creating another

fantastic cover! Now I just have to wait for it to hit the bookshops in - er - seven months time...zzz...

My brother Tiggy (aka Shin) has just started at the Royal College of Music. A case of life imitating art perhaps? Except that he doesn't live in Bayswater but in Shepherd's Bush. And he doesn't go jogging in Hyde Park but in Ravenscourt Park. Oh and a big difference... unlike Flynn, he doesn't believe in exercising his fingers too much - unless it's playing table tennis or basket ball! My sister Thalia has entered the publishing world, working in audio books at Macmillan... I have a spy.

I saw a great film the other day: Atonement. That makes three good films this year: The Painted Veil, The Lives of Others and Atonement. I have yet to read a really great book though since The Disappearing Act of Esme Lennox (Maggie O'Farrell)... Prison Break has started its third season but so far I'm not too impressed. I think season 1 and 2 were acts just too hard to follow.

After a barren summer I'm just finishing work on my second novel for adults: All This I Vow. As soon as it's done, my agent will start sending it out to editors along with my other novel for adults: Maya. So keep your fingers crossed for me.

STILL can't get a two-book-a-year deal with Random House. Apparently 'literary fiction' doesn't sell very well. However if I were to write about a wizard or a flying dragon... Dream on. I'd sooner eat a worm.

4th September 2007
Man it's been a boring summer! Was supposed to go away somewhere hot - never got round to it. Was supposed to finish my second novel for adults - got a bad case of writer's block. And now the new academic year is upon us and so it's time to put my teaching hat back on, which I'm kind of looking forward to seeing as my writing hat is giving me a headache...

However, From Where I Stand has been longlisted for the Waterstone's Book Award - fingers crossed for the shortlist in October! It would be so cool to have my two first novels both shortlisted for prestigious prizes! I've also had some lovely fan mail over the summer - from some very interesting young people, as well as from a handful of adults! It's lovely to receive these messages and to realise that my books are actually being read - writing is a very solitary occupation and sometimes I find myself wondering if anyone is actually buying my books at all, so the fan mail definitely helps keep me sane!

My current plans are to finish my second novel for adults, find an editor for my adult novels and to start getting two books published a year, which is the speed at which I write. There is a small possibility I might get two novels published in 2009: Without Looking Back and another book for teens, so that would be very cool. All this hanging around is so frustrating when the books are written and edited and ready to be published, and many of my readers have written in to express their frustration too. I've got a really gripping idea for my next teen book but it's hard to be motivated when you know it's not going to be published until 2010!

My book designer, Tracey Paris, has come up with a superb cover for A Voice in the Distance - now all we have to do is persuade Sales & Marketing to agree to it (they have the final call). The cover is very different to A Note of Madness, so watch this space - as soon as I get the thumbs up I will put it on my homepage. At the moment there is a bit of fuss as to whether to have Flynn or Jennah on the cover. I want Flynn, because although both Jennah and Flynn tell the story, it is ultimately Flynn's story, just as A Note of Madness was. However, although it is technically a sequel to A Note of Madness, it is also a stand-alone book, which means you don't need to have read A Note of Madness first.

I'm hoping to do lots of school visits and creative writing workshops this term, so if you would like me to visit your school, please speak to your English teacher or school librarian and give him/her my website address. I have already been booked to do a school visit in Sussex at the end of September so I'll let you know how that goes.

My teenage brother Tiggy is off to the Royal College of Music next week - very exciting. We just have to figure out a way of fitting his Clavinova into my car... He has also got through the first round of the BBC Young Musician of the year and the next round is coming up in a couple of weeks. My sister Thalia has just started work in publishing at Macmillian - so I'm getting the inside scoop on what goes on behind those closed publishing doors...

Some sad news: Siobhan Dowd, winner of The Branford Boase Award died a few weeks ago. I'd been gutted to lose the award but now I'm so glad she won it. I only met her once, at the ceremony, but she seemed like such a lovely person. I was sad not to have been able to get to know her better.

Well, to any of you going back to school / college / uni, all the best for the start of term, and do keep spreading the word to your friends about my books to help me persuade Random House to publish me more than once a year!

9th July 2007
Well, it's been a busy few weeks.
I gave a talk entitled: Writing for Teenagers - Tackling Difficult Issues at a conference in Coventry. I was given a wonderful reception and got to sign books alongside Anne Cassidy!
Then there was the Branford Boase Award. I didn't win but it was still an honour to be shortlisted and I really enjoyed meeting the other authors. However the highlight of the evening was definitely meeting and signing books for the children and teenagers who had won the under 19 short-story competition.
Finally, I was asked to judge a creative writing competition at Latymer Upper School. What a job that was! The shortlisted entries were all of an unbelievably high standard and just blew me away. Choosing winners was excruciating, especially as I had just witnessed first hand what it was like not to win a competition just the week before, but all the stories and poems I read were worthy of winning. Pictures of the events can be found in the Photo Gallery.

Editing has begun on A Voice in the Distance which is fun because it's my favourite.

I don't understand how on earth I could have possibly been moaning about being too hot only a month ago. Sunshine?? What's that again?

But most importantly of all - only a month to go till Prison Break!!!

10th June 2007
The title for A Song for Jennah has been CHANGED!!! Too girlie and not serious enough apparently. The new title I've chosen is A Voice in the Distance. And exciting news - it is DEFINITELY coming out in May '08.

Check out my new Favourite Books & Poems page.

I am in a bad mood because I am too hot. When the sun's not out I bitch about it being too cold. I would like to live in a country where it is 20�C, non-humid and SUNNY all year round. It could rain during the night to let things grow and all that, and more importantly clean my car...

You may have noticed my new photos. I changed them because I had a new haircut. Some people say I look like a sheep.

I saw the two best films since The Hours! The Painted Veil and The Lives of Others.

8th May 2007
From Where I Stand is finally out! Please order your copy asap from Amazon or else get it from your local bookshop. If they don't have it please do order it, as this will encourage them to stock the book.

And for all you kind readers out there, please write me a 5 star Amazon review. Thank you so much!

A Note of Madness has been shortlisted for the prestigious Branford Boase First Novel Award! Results at the end of June!

8th April 2007
Happy Easter! Apologies for my long silence. This has been due to several factors: trying to come off my meds (NOT a good idea), starting a new book (EQUALLY bad idea), stressing out about my first book for adults, and having a mini breakdown due to all of the above.

A couple of weeks ago I did my first formal school visit. This consisted of a talk + creative writing workshop with a group of delightful Year 10 girls, and then in the evening, a talk to 50 or so adults and teenagers. The whole thing was beautifully organised by Ros Bartlett and I had a blast! It all took place at Earls High School in Birmingham and I was escorted by my very own publicity assistant and took 8 taxis in 2 days and was put up in a luxurious hotel and generally made to feel like royalty.

However, things got off to a very rocky start. The day before I was due to leave, it suddenly dawned on me that I had 3 hours worth of talking to do and nothing prepared. This uncharacteristic lack of organization on my behalf was at least partly due to the fact that I hadn't managed to achieve more than 4 hours sleep a night for the past MONTH due to coming off one of my meds. So thanks to severe sleep deprivation I was walking about in a trance, suffering from a noticeable lack of gross and fine motor skills (i.e. I kept losing my balance, dropping things and bumping into things). It was so bad, I wasn't even able to send text messages - something I usually can do with my eyes closed. And I kept falling asleep during the day in strange places - for example on the way back from a writer's conference in Coventry, I decided that the carriages were too noisy and so sat down with all my bags in the area between two carriages and promptly fell into this weird half-sleep and was dimly aware that people were having to step over me in order to get out of the train... Anyway, having never been asked to give two talks of one and a half hours in a single day before, I started writing out my 'speech' the day before the event, and made the big mistake of timing myself with a stop watch to make absolutely sure I'd be able to fill up those three hours just by reading from my notes. The result? 16 hours of non-stop writing (I even ate whilst typing one-handed) from 10 am to 2 pm. By the time I'd finished, I realised I'd written seven thousand words in one day, something I have never achieved when working on any book, even when writing through the night on some manic high. Anyway, the following morning, I arrived at Euston and immediately downed some coffee in an attempt to wake myself up, promptly scalding my tongue. If you have never burnt your tongue before, I hope you never have to experience it. It was such agony, I could hardly speak - not very promising given that in a few hours I was due to give my first talk. Astonishingly, things actually got worse. I locked myself out of my hotel room thanks to one of those card keys that I couldn't make work. I lost my huge wad of notes (without which I was scarcely able to remember my own name) had a mini heart-attack before discovering I'd left them behind at the school between talks. Then for the rather grand evening talk, during which I was supposed to give readings from both A Note of Madness and From Where I Stand, I discovered that instead of bringing one copy of each book, I had managed to bring two copies of From Where I Stand: so just as I was being introduced to the audience and led down the aisle to the front of the room, I had to whisper to someone: 'Excuse me, but does anyone have a copy of my book?' Fortunately somebody did but by the time it got to the reading, my eyes would no longer focus (a side-effect of sleep deprivation) and so as I could barely make out a word on the page so I had to sort of invent the story as I went along...

Despite all this, the trip was a remarkable success (or so people tell me) and I absolutely LOVED the actual events. The workshop gave me real buzz - the girls were delightful and engaging and asked lots of questions and wrote some outstanding pieces. One girl in particular stood out - her piece of writing blew me away. She wrote a bullying scene about a boy who reminded me a lot of Raven in From Where I Stand and her writing almost moved me to tears. I won't give away her identity without her permission but I will definitely be looking for her name on the bookshelves years to come. Talk about talent! The evening event was fantastic too - I was so grateful to the many people who asked questions during the Q & A - there is nothing more awful than saying, 'Does anyone have any questions?' and having people stare back at you as if you were a squished worm on the sole of their shoe. So remember, if ever you go to an author event ASK QUESTIONS! The author in question will love you for it. I was especially impressed that within the mainly adult audience, many of the questions came from the handful of teenagers and children there: one little girl who bravely put her hand up was only nine! Signing books and talking to individual members of the audience at the end was a real treat and I came home thinking that was one of the most exciting and moving experiences of my life. It was certainly a day I will never forget.

15th February 2007
Finally, the paperback edition of A Note of Madness is in the shops. What a difference a cover can make!
5 star Amazon reviews urgently needed!

1st February 2007
Happy New Year! Yes, I know I'm a bit late, but I was busy suffering from Prison Break withdrawal symptoms and having a nervous breakdown over my latest book (my first one for adults), which is driving me crazy... Sometimes I wish I was a shelf-stacker at Tesco's. Or better than that, a 'kept woman'. Yes, that would be nice, plumping cushions and having babies, instead of sitting in a basement with three jumpers on, trying to think of my next story which will take me at least 6 months to write and may never earn me a penny.

Okay, enough moaning. What is new? Well, the paperback edition of A Note of Madness comes out on February 15th and the cover is so much better than the hardback. So even if you've read it, pleeeease buy another copy and spread the word because only if the paperback sells enough copies will Random House will publish the sequel, A Song for Jennah, which is my favourite. A Note of Madness has also been longlisted for a prestigious award: The Branford Boase Book Award, which is very exciting. And only three months till the publication of From Where I Stand, which has already had excellent reviews from those lucky enough to get their hands on a proof copy!

In case you hadn't noticed, I have a new page on my site - the photo gallery, so go and check it out. I'm going to go back to pretending to plan my new book, but really using my powers of imagination to transport myself to a beautiful sandy beach someplace hot.

18th December 2006
First of all, Merry Christmas and all that. I am not a big fan of this particular commercial fiasco, probably because everyone in my family is too skint to buy any presents. But actually I received the best present I could have possibly wished for: MY BROTHER GOT INTO THE ROYAL COLLEGE OF MUSIC!!! As well as Guildhall for that matter, who took no UK applicants last year. But for Tiggy, it has always been the RCM (where A Note of Madness is set) or nothing. The feat was all the more impressive given the fact that there were just 7 places and 200 applicants AND that he was auditioning with a pulled ligament in his thumb (see October's entry). Anyway, I'm as proud as hell, especially as I was his very first teacher when he started the piano, aged 2.

The school term has ended so I have collapsed into a heap. Now all I want to do is sleep for a very long time. But I'm supposed to be editing Without Looking Back, as well as starting the new book for adults (but equally suitable for older teens). Complicated plot. Psychological thriller. I hope I can pull it off.

I've had two more glowing reviews for A Note of Madness which is always exciting. From Where I Stand is now a stunning-looking book sitting on my shelf which makes me feel great every time I look at it, even though it's not hitting the shops till May. March is fast-approaching when the lovely black paperback edition of A Note of Madness will be for sale (already available for pre-order here). Can't wait.

Prison Break is on a break. For two months. I am not happy. Enough said.

29th October 2006
Well, where do I start� In summary: I LOVE the cover of From Where I Stand, I didn�t win the NASEN/TES award but still got to shake Ade Adepitan�s hand and experience his hilarious one-man show, and I STILL haven�t finished the custody battle book (although I�m � of the way through but the last bit just seems to be taking forever).

Since the liver biopsy I�ve been back in hospital � I woke up one night with this unbelievable pain in my left shoulder and arm. Although I knew it wasn�t likely to be caused by an excess of writing, I took a load of painkillers and tried to go back to sleep but my mother was convinced I was having a heart-attack and dragged me to A&E. The doctors seemed to be of the same opinion and I was x-rayed and ECG�d and put on monitors and pumped with morphine (which didn�t help � my mother said it was because I was a �large� woman so I needed a �larger� dose). Then they started trying to take blood from me which is always a complete palaver because it is technically impossible to get blood from my arm for some reason � maybe because my arm is so �large�? Yet the doctors and nurses always think they have �the magic touch� or that �taking blood from the back of your hand is so much more painful and I don�t want to hurt you� so they then proceed to prick me half a dozen times in each arm, then grow increasingly desperate and forget all about sparing me unnecessary pain, digging around with the needle to try and find the vein, then finally call their colleagues to get them to help so I end up with four doctors standing round my bed locked into �who is the best vampire� competition. By this time I am nothing more than a pincushion with morphine-resistant shoulder pain, fairly convinced that if I wasn�t having a heart-attack before, I�m going to have one now.

Anyway, it turned out to be something strange like �viral infection of the heart sack� and although I spent the day in hospital being pricked to death it was all worth it in the end because fortunately, just before setting off for A&E at 5am, I�d remembered to start downloading the brand new episode of Prison Break. My sister Thalia, upon hearing that I was in hospital being treated for a suspected heart attack, quickly went into my room, somehow got around my computer security, and happily watched the episode before skipping back to university. By nightfall, my brother Tiggy had started showing up hourly at the hospital which puzzled me no end, until he finally cracked and demanded when the hell I was going to be discharged so that we could go home and watch Prison Break because he didn�t have the password to my computer. Then I started receiving texts from Thalia saying how the new episode of Prison Break was the best one EVER. At which point I thought, sod this, and discharged myself and went home to watch it.

Other news: Tiggy, now that he has reached the crucial final A level year, seems to have suddenly decided to rid himself of the label �the only sane Suzuma� and was suspended from school for roof-climbing again (apparently it's a �sport�) and threatened with expulsion. Pointing out to him that death was the most likely outcome of such a sport failed to impress him, so I moved up a gear and said �what about your hands??� Given the fact that the biggest audition in his life so far (for the Royal College of Music), is less than a month away, I thought this might have some effect, but he assured me quite forcibly that NOTHING would ever happen to his hands. Then, last week, he came home for half-term with his hand in a bandage: pulled tendon in his thumb, estimated time of recovery: three weeks. For those of you non-musicians out there, that�s kind of like being told one month before your finals (or A levels) that you can�t pick up a book or read a single word again before the exams. But Tiggy says he�s not worried: apparently he�s worked out �mathematically� that given his current rate of recovery he will be able to start playing again in a week. At the moment he has trouble holding a fork, so we�ll just have to wait and see whether his A level maths knowledge outweighs four years of medical school... Oh, and by the way, he pulled the tendon in his thumb �catching a ball�.

14th September 2006
Had a liver biopsy yesterday which wasn't very pleasant so am now lounging around the house feeling bored and sorry for myself. I am not allowed to exert myself which is good because I don't like exerting myself even when I am well. I can't even have a shower which suits me fine. Washing always makes me feel tired. All that scrubbing... Unfortunately writing can't be classed as exertion so that doesn't give me an excuse to procrastinate. Actually, now that I think about it, being a writer must be the most sedentary job that exists, don't you think? I mean the only parts of my body I have to move are my fingers on the keyboard, it's not even as taxing as writing by hand where you have to use your whole arm. Despite this, I am still finding ways to 'rest', mainly by taking breaks from being in a vertical position by lying down on my bed with a great new Maggie O'Farrell book about mental illness - right up my street. Oh, and watching Prison Break - could this be the most amazing thing ever made for TV? I have always loathed blood and action films and when my brother Tiggy first suggested I watched a series entitled 'Prison Break' I thought he was losing his mind. But OH MY GOD. There are no words. All I can say is that those writers are genius, simply genius. I never thought I'd turn on the television again after Friends finished, but boy I was wrong. My sister Thalia and I watched the first season the whole way through without stopping. Fourteen hours through the night. We started at 8pm and finished at 10am. Needless to say I slept through my alarm the following day. Now the second season has started in the US, all I can think of is 'how many more days till Tuesday'? I know, I really need to get a life.

I think autumn is creeping up on us which is cool, I love it when the seasons change, although I could do without the six months of winter. This makes me want to go shopping for 'autumn clothes' but unfortunately I can't because all my cards are maxed out to the limit and I'm having to borrow money off family members just to feed myself. Yeah, bring on the violins. I'm expecting a nice cash injection for the two book contract I finally got to sign recently but it sure as hell is taking its time.

The other day I was bored (I should get a proper job, I know) and I felt like reading a really good book but couldn't find one so I re-read A Song for Jennah without stopping until four o'clock in the morning. My sister thinks I am the biggest narcissist alive - she may be right.

Term has started which means back to teaching which means I am actually going to have to write during my 'writing slots' as opposed to when the muse takes me (and I can't remember the last time that happened). Just the thought of it makes me feel like booking a holiday...

I read I Am the Cheese by Robert Cormier for the first time the other week and thought it was one hell of a book. Then, literally days later, A Note of Madness got a fab review in The Guardian and was compared to I Am the Cheese! What an honour. Yeah, it's moments like that which make the days spent staring at a blank Word document worthwhile.

Well, that's enough from me. Since I write best at night, since I'm supposed to be resting, and since there are five whole days to go before the next episode of Prison Break, I'm going to lie down and read...

14th August 2006

Back from holiday so now I have to start working again, I suppose. The new paperback cover of A Note of Madness has been decided and is a great improvement on the original, me thinks, and is available for pre-order here. Work has started on the cover of From Where I Stand (already available for pre-order on Amazon here) so keep your fingers crossed for me.

15th July 2006

Okay, what's new - well I'm back online so am more bearable to live with, I've got a brand new iMac which I don't really know how to use but it just looks so cool, I've finished editing From Where I Stand so now I just have to wait 10 months before I see it on the bookshelves; oh, and A Note of Madness has got a completely new cover for the paperback edition which is coming out next March. I can't wait. It looks so much more sophisticated and striking than the current cover (which I've never been too crazy about to say the least). I've also been offered a 2 book contract with Random House for Without Looking Back and a fourth book, hopefully A Song for Jennah depending on the Madness sales. Speaking of which, next month I get my preliminary sales figures, so please keep on spreading the word! I haven't done much work on my current book lately but I'm going to go back to it in the next day or so (unless I can think up some more distractions, but I'm beginning to run out of ideas now). A Note of Madness is currently being read by the editor of the adult books division of Random House as a possible 'crossover book', so I'm on tenderhooks about that...

5th July 2006
Well so much for that! I've never been any good at keeping resolutions anyway. But I have a bone-fide excuse: my internet is down and isn't going back up any time soon. I am in a FOUL mood. Will post again properly when I regain access to the cyberworld and my blood pressure is no longer in the danger zone.

3rd June 2006

As today was the first day that actually felt like summer, and my car has died and I don't believe in public transport, I decided my new resolution would be to update this journal weekly, let's say every Saturday, even if I have nothing to say (which is often the case). The reason for doing this is two-fold:

1. I have been informed that the only way to attract people to one's website (and therefore to one's books) is to keep one's website regularly updated. The only way I can think of doing this is by writing this journal, because Random House, bless 'em, are refusing to publish me more than once a year, which gives me LOADS of time to whinge and generally complain about the cruel writing life.

2. I have started a new book for adults, and although it's a great story, it's really difficult to write because I have to try and use LONG words so that it sounds more like a book for adults than for teens, and let's face it, I don't know very many long words (God bless the online thesaurus). Anyway, if I have a journal to write, then I can pretend to myself that I am working, which always feels good - a bit like spending the whole day on Google, supposedly doing 'research' and then rewarding myself with three hours in front of the TV. Speaking of which...

But before I go, I should just let you know that next week I have a meeting at Random House about the future of my next two books, Without Looking Back and A Song for Jennah, so if you could go out and buy a few thousand copies of A Note of Madness between now and Thursday, that would be great. Cheers!

26th May 2006

My sister Thalia thinks I should amend my last entry because she says it makes me sound like a right whinge-bag, so maybe I should put things into context. Today I was invited to present the awards at an award ceremony at an adult education college, yesterday I had a meeting with a Channel 4 documentary maker who thinks that A Note of Madness would make a great television drama (and obviously I completely agree), and the day before that I gave a class talk before signing 30 autographs. I have given another interview for another magazine, my next two books have been accepted for publication and my editor and agent are raving about A Song for Jennah. So things aren't looking too bad. My Amazon ranking continues to rise and the glowing reviews continue to come in. So a big thank you to everyone who has been kind enough to take the time to write a 5 star review. I am also really getting into my book for adults, which of course will appeal to young adults too. So if it would only stop raining, I might even smile...

20th May 2006

Well, it's been a crazy month. A Note of Madness is finally in the bookshops and all I have to do now is sit back and wait for hoards of people to buy it. Well, not exactly. As a first-time, unknown author, there is this somewhat undignified process one has to go through called 'self promotion'. It basically means asking all your friends to buy your book. Asking all your friends to tell their friends to buy your book. Asking all your friends to tell their friends to tell their friends...well, you get my drift. Then there are the SCHOOL TALKS. Being a teacher, you would think this part should be easy. However, talking about yourself (or your book) for an hour is only pleasant if you have the ego the size of Mount Fuji. I've never seen Mount Fuji but I gather it's rather big. My brother once tried to climb it in the winter and in the dark (yes, he too is crazy) and nearly died. Then there are the INTERVIEWS. Seriously scary. Especially when it's on radio, in a recording studio, surrounded by lots of creepy high-tech equipment. And one has no idea what question is coming next. And one is not sure that one has even understood the question in the first place. And one can't stop saying UMM. Then there are the book signings. Going into a local bookshop to offer to sign copies of the book is made difficult when said bookshop is not stocking said book. Finally, after all this, there is nothing left to do but return home and ponder on the little question of whether anyone is EVER going to buy one's book. And if not, why not? (obviously this would have to be the fault of the cover). Then off to bed with the comforting thought that unless three thousand people buy your book in the next twelve months, next year no bookshops will stock From Where I Stand, and one might as well make a bonfire with the twelve combined drafts of Without Looking Back and A Song for Jennah (which took the best part of a year to write). Speaking of which - obviously A Song for Jennah will only get published if A Note of Madness sells VERY well. And the few privileged people who have read A Song for Jennah have said that it is actually EVEN BETTER than A Note of Madness (defies belief, doesn't it??) So if you want to ever get to read A Song for Jennah, sequel to (hopefully, the soon very famous) A Note of Madness, then you have to get everyone you know to buy the first one. So tell all your friends about it. Buy it as a present for everyone you know. Contact me and I will send you postcards to give out. Write a 5 star Amazon review. My dears, there is nothing much I can do. The power lies with you.

9th April 2006

Now that I'm supposed to be writing a new book, you're going to hear a lot more from me in this section. Today I spent 5 hours in Waterstones, supposedly doing research on the difference between teen fiction and adult fiction. As far as I could tell, the only difference is that teen fiction is a lot more interesting... But why does the Teen/Young Adult Section always have to always be next to or incorporated into the Children's Section? It should be a separate division altogether! I read the first page of one of the books on the teens shelf and couldn't understand a word - which suggests to me that it really belongs in the Adult Section (I never really graduated from the teen section you see). And why books about a boy wizard should come to find their way into the Adult's Section I'll never know...

Anyway, I spent the rest of the day trying to come up with a title for my new book. After much hair-pulling, I was well chuffed to come up with IN MY HAND, A BUTTERFLY. But, as usual, my sister Thalia was quick to piss on my fireworks, pointing out that the title made it sound like a nature programme. She said I might as well call it A CATERPILLAR UP MY SLEEVE. Well then, I pointed out, why not A WORM IN MY SHOE? You see, these are the kind of shenanigans which go on when one lives in a rat-infested cellar with nothing more to do than write a book. But talking of titles and unhelpful family members, the best one I ever heard was from the creator of JAWS. When desperately trying to come up with a title a little more imaginative than simply SHARK! his dad apparently suggested WHAT DAT NOSHING ON MY LEG?

I guess I should count myself lucky.

6th April 2006

April 18th I'm doing three interviews: one for the Evening Standard, one for Oneword Radio and one for the Write Away website. And A Note of Madness has a new, glowing review!

I am now starting my first novel for adults.

25th March 2006

It's arrived! The hardback copy of A Note of Madness is in my hands. It looks great. And it's hitting the bookshops in 5 weeks time!

12th March 2006

Received my first fan letter (well - email). What a buzz! Meant more to me than any review. Check out the Books Coming Soon section. You can read the first chapter of each of my books.

2nd March 2006

My first printed reviews have appeared in The Bookseller (Feb 17th issue). Very exciting. I am also giving an interview to the Evening Standard next month, so I will let you know when that's due to appear.

4th February 2006

Finally signed the contract for From Where I Stand, hurray! Publication date is set for May 2007. Zzzz.

29th January 2006
Thrilled to bits with my first review! To be compared to Haddon, Blackman and Burgess is such an honour!

It's fun to be working on From Where I Stand again.

My sister Tansy thinks A Moment of Silence is a terrible title. She says it evokes the image of Flynn sitting gagged and handcuffed at the piano. But then again my sister Thalia thought that From Where I Stand should be called From Where I Sit - more politically correct she claimed. So perhaps I shouldn't listen to either of them.

I am living with rats and mice. Talk about your writer in the garret. Except in my case it's more like the cellar.

15th January 2006

Happy New Year!

Editing has begun on From Where I Stand, but I still don't have a publishing date. Hopefully sometime in 2007 but you never know...

My publishers are sending out review copies of A Note of Madness wrapped in coffee-stained sheet music. It looks very authentic. Someone even composed an original score.

I'm not writing anything at the moment which isn't very good for my health. I'm thinking about a third and final book to go with A Note of Madness and A Song for Jennah. It might be called A Moment of Silence.

16th December 2005
I've finished writing A Song for Jennah. Hurrah!

29th November 2005
I have just read A Note of Madness in book form! It's huge!

20th November 2005
I am about half way through my fourth book. It's called A Song for Jennah and it is a sequel to A Note of Madness. It's a story told in the first person and alternates between Flynn and Jennah's points of view.

The final cover for A Note of Madness has been decided. It is growing on me.